Frankly, My Dear…

After a decade of struggling to become a gondolier, Alexander Hai has won a moral victory. A court recently allowed her to paddle around the canals of Venice - but only for the residents of one of the city’s hotels. “Brava gondoliera! Brava!” shouted one man from his third-story balcony on the Rio de la Veste canal as Hai paddled past, shepherding a couple from Utah on their honeymoon. The man on the balcony, clenching a glass of champagne, beckoned his friends to take a look as Hai’s boat and passengers slipped by.

This is a male dominated job and they are not happy with Hai. Being a gondolier is usually passed down from father to son. They say she isn’t strong enough and cannot pass the test to become a gondolier.

I was lucky enough to go to Italy on two different occasions, but did not get to see Venice, where all this drama is taking place. I was very disappointed–twice! I saw Pisa, Rome, Florence, Naples, and Pompeii, but no Venice. And I absolutely would not have cared who was steering the gondola! You have to give her credit, though, for the abuse she’s taken but hasn’t backed down!

Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, Bo Diddley, 78, is in guarded condition in a Omaha, Nebraska, hospital following a stroke after a concert Sunday night. His speech and left side were impacted. He had a history of hypertension and diabetes.

He was one of my cousin’s favorites when he was in high school. Whenever I would be at his house, he’d be listening to one of his albums–the songs I most remember are “Who Do You Love” and “I’m a Man”.

I’m thinking of taking up boxing! I have a plate full of stress and somehow I think pounding on something would help! I know I’m not alone, at least that’s what I keep telling myself, but for some reason it doesn’t make my stress feel any lighter! My BP and BS are still elevated from last fall when my eye blew a vein, even though I’m on more meds. How do you convince your body to relax? Okay, for some of you that may be a loaded question! Not going there! I just wish there was something you could do to alleve stress.

I went to the dr’s about 2 wks ago and the front desk was making an announcement about someone’s car lights being on as I was about to leave–guess who’s they were? Yep and I couldn’t turn them off! I still had things I had to do and now, I had a problem that could cause the battery to die on me! I did what I had to do, all the time worrying about whether or not I was going to have a working car! It was too late to take it somewhere so I called a friend and he said to undo the battery but be careful. I looked at the battery but was afraid to touch it and couldn’t figure out how to unplug the tail lights, so I resigned myself to having a dead battery in the morning. It was. I called several people and nothing was looking promising. I was really afraid it was going to be a major problem. Meanwhile, the a/c stopped putting out cool air and when I went outside to check on it, I fell about 5′ off the stairs. Thankfully, nothing was broken, but let me assure you EVERYTHING was bruised and hurt! And is still hurting plenty!

Anyway, after over a week without a car, the son-in-law of my cousin in GA came and tried jumping the car off and adding brake fluid, but the lights were still on and that didn’t fix the problem. He said it might be the brake light button and got his cousin to come over and replace it, just as a thunder storm showed up! The brake pedal had been feeling cushy and I had been pressing on it real hard, which I guess is what caused the problem with the lights!

About this time–after the car was running again–I remembered I’d forgotten to pay the phone bill! I remembered because, they turned the phone off! I drove to a grocery store that has a pay phone inside and did a check over the phone and went home. I didn’t know what was taking so long for the phone to be turned on, but assumed it would be. (My back makes it very uncomfortable to find a position I can sleep in and I mostly sleep in spurts, so the phone was in 2nd place in priorities!) Yesterday, I tried to check at the library on the computer but gave up and went back to the store. That dept was closed, of course! Now, I’m mad. The phone co gave the new Publix a number one digit off from ours and we get calls all the time from people wanting to know “Is this Publix?” This is not making me happy! So…..today I went back to the store and made another call and refused to talk to the dam machine. I talked to someone and he said they didn’t have a payment showing and switched me to someone else. I repeated my story and she asked for my confirmation number and I said I didn’t have one but I had given my routing number and my checking account number and she repeated her spiel. I asked how was I suppose to know about that? We were going back and forth saying abou the same things. I told her I would do a check over the phone again. She said it would be 2-3 hours for it to be turned on and would I like to talk to someone else about the phone number and I said no, I’m standing in the middle of a grocery store–what I didn’t say was that I was so mad I could hardly talk with my teeth clenched! Amazingly, the phone was on when I got home about 5 mins later!

There’s more, but I won’t completely spill my guts! Just believe me when I say I have enough stress to go around if you need some! And I know there are problems more severe!

Click to enlarge

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following
questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they
mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he
get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some
kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Remember your Mothers this Sunday! And yes, that means the mother of your children, too!

The US Treasury Dept has sent a letter to Michael Moore to inform him of their investigation of his trip to Cuba with ten ailing Ground Zero workers for health care services.

Moore’s opponents have accused him of distorting the facts, and his Cuba trip provoked criticism from conservatives including former Republican Sen. Fred Thompson, who assailed the filmmaker in a blog at National Review Online.

“I have no expectation that Moore is going to tell the truth about Cuba or health care,” wrote Thompson, the subject of speculation about a possible presidential run. “I defend his right to do what he does, but Moore’s talent for clever falsehoods has been too well documented.”

Moore is at it again and plans to release his latest “movie” Sicko at the Cannes Film Festival. Oh goody, we get to see his fat, ugly face ad nauseam. Barf bag, anyone?

Jeff Ruby, owner of an upscale steakhouse in Louisville, KY, told OJ Simpson he would not be served in his restaurant! Yea Jeff! OJ was seated with a party of about 12 people when Mr. Ruby went to the table and told him he would not be served. OJ said he understood and left. Afterwards, people began applauding the owner. Too bad he isn’t treated that way everywhere he goes!

OJ’s attorney said it was about RACE and he intended to go after the liquor license. Oh yes, it’s all about race! Shyster.