Frankly, My Dear…

This is JP Borda, of Milblogging fame. (We know he isn’t actually famous, but we have to humor him! wink-wink!) Doesn’t he look jaunty in his Afghan shemagh? (Say yes–he’s very insecure!) I hold him responsible for getting me involved with blogs–so I’m not sure if I should bless him or curse him! I was an AnySoldier supporter in 2004 when I came across his picture one day and he mentioned he had a blog. I decided to check out his blog and I was hooked! JP was a very funny blogger! Warped, sarcastic humor! I wish he had left National Guard Experience up ’cause we’d still be laughing!

One of the first giggle-fests I remember was the mouse in his room in Afghanistan that made him scream like a little girl and when guys ran into his room to see what was the matter, it suddenly became this huge rat with long teeth–threathing I’m sure!

Then there was the beef jerky war with another soldier, Mustang. Have no idea how to describe that, but it was fun. He educated us on games they played out in the field when they weren’t engaged. Dear Lord, it sounded like kamacazes! Throwing rocks in each other’s mouths–do you know how much fecal matter is in that soil?! Pulling tricks on each other! The soldier who crawled into his sleeping bag head first out in the field and almost suffocated! The pen that exploded from the heat and they thought they might have a sniper bearing down! He told us about piss tubes, camel spiders, guys who were with him and even basic training! I remember the choo-choo game as soapy and nekkid? And poor Boobah–he was tortured and abused! And we were abused by his blabbing on and on and on about the Olsen twins!

The sweetest story was about his 3 yr old son who had a Goofy doll to represent his Dad and carried it everywhere. One night he woke up crying and told his mom he wanted his dad. His mom tried to give him Goofy and he said no, I want my real dad! Mom said she did, too, and they both cried for a bit. These kind of stories were what made us love JP. I’m speaking for quite a few people he affectionately calls his “crackheads”. (It better be affectionately, dude!)

I was writing to a Lt in JP’s group and sent him a water gun and told him to find JP and shoot him in the face and tell him it was from me! I also sent JP a water gun with the same instructions for the Lt but, of course, the plan was spoiled because of rank! Spoil sports! It was just a little bit of water!

Sometime in this, I had a conversation with JP while he was on guard duty. I sent him an email and noticed he answered it rather fast–and they were about 7 hrs ahead of us which meant it was very late in Afghanistan! We sent several emails back and forth. Me, safe at home in Alabama and JP, thousands of miles away in a war zone.

Finally, it was time to redeploy and it seemed to take forever! We know what the first thing he did was when he landed in the US ’cause baby Joseph arrived 9 mos later! heh I think the guy was on a mission! He moved his family to Texas not long after and had just moved to CA when his guard unit was activated and has spent several months in MS getting ready for Iraq with the Bad VooDoo Platoon. Put some curses on those insurgents!

JP, get your butt home safely ’cause there’s a group of women who want to give you some hugs! And it’s your own fault for being so warm and loving. Okay, I think I just threw up in my mouth alittle! j/k Love ya!

Oh, I almost forgot, JP………….ZING!!!!!